GO AWAY SPAM FAIRY!!!

I love my Blackberry. And I think bbm is the shit!

I'm sitting on a tiny granite outcrop a 1000 kms from the Northern tip of Madagascar. And from this tiny little chunk of granite I am in communication with people at home, on the Med, in the States and of course right here on the island.

But what really sucks is when your contacts start sending ridiculous broadcast messages about forwarding other messages because if you don't something bad will happen!

Seriously, does one honestly think that the Blackberry server is getting full? That they care if there are a few thousand inactive bbm users? That they would go to the effort of somehow actually following up on every single stupid pointless forwarded message?

Has it really become so easy for the wool to be pulled over almost a quarter of my contacts eyes? Are we so easily convinced by a grammatically incorrect message? Do you also reply the email telling you that Obama endorses herbal supplements that will make you bigger in the you-know-where, that the "Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI), Counter-terrorism Division and Cyber Crime Division in the J. Edgar. Hoover Building Washington DC" has just finished an investigation that proves you are owed $850 000 - 00 by some corrupt official in a West African country whose name you struggle to pronounce forget ever been in contact with one of their corrupt officials or the one that says you've just won the National Lottery - strange how the country's name of whose national lottery it is doesn't appear anywhere in the email! But really, its true! Just email your banking details to us and we'll send you the cash. Tax free!

My absolute favourite are the ones that stress that if you don't forward this message to a bazillion people in 35 seconds your ears will fall off, you will catch a nasty incurable disease and all your friends will stop talking to you but if you do send it to only 30 friends an entire village in Africa will be miraculously fed on the virtual print of the email! Bollocks! Stop wasting our time!

And don't lie, you know you've thought about sending that forward - actually you probably have!

Is it stupidity?

Is it boredom?

It is worrying!

My good friend Andrew stated in his status on bbm today that the next person to forward him one would be hoofed off his contact list. He's now one pretty girl less in his contacts list! Maybe we should all follow his example - let all the forwarders forward to each other and the non-forwarders carry on with real conversations.

And Hawks, no it’s not funny sending me them just because you know it pisses me off!

Whaat!!!

Okay Waaaaaaaaaaaaat!

It has been waaaay too long to even start making excuses as to why I haven't written anything for my zero readers! (Okay, sorry Gregg, my single reader!)

Well, I'm back in the islands and life isn't hard - although at times it is rather frustrating! Just try get anything done of an official nature - which I've been doing trying to get Puff, The Magic Mobile, licensed. Banks close at 14:30 and most government offices at 3pm! And its sharp I tell you. If fact so sharp that if you arrive at 10 minutes to closing you can count yourself lucky if you're let in! And even bribery has to happen early - couldn't pay off the car inspector myself because he knocks off at 3pm too!

Anyway, as I was saying, life isn't hard, but it is slow! Things happen at snail's pace here. Simply. Don't try and change it. It makes our 'African Time' seem like a well oiled and efficient system! Even the change of season is slower this year. And that sucks cause it means more hiding inside from the galing SE than fishing and having to guide clients in winds that leave the sea birds flustered under grey skies - not ideal when you kinda rely on at least a clear sky or windless day to spot fish!

But this late changing of season thing does still beg that question; Is climate change happening that quickly and is it as real as everyone claims?

I suppose time will tell - but lets at least try make a change in our own dirty, carbon expelling habits before we all melt in an overheating world. Jeez, afterall don't you want your kids to go snowboarding?

Well, I lie, we did have one teasing day of NWerly and the ocean took on that oil slick finish that gets one all geared up to hop on a boat and hunt milkies! However, it was late and school was tiring so I lay in my hammock and mind surfed the reef of Point Cabris - it looked fun but that paddle is sack-off far! And I mind surf so much better than I surf at the moment! The pics below are little hazy - I blame the hammock but you get the idea. Its a fun little A-Frame that wedges into a tight barrel that will happily send you along the cheese grater of a reef if you're not awake!

Anyway, enough surf porn...

Holidays in SA were EPIC! But I plan on expounding upon those adventures a little later and with a bit more detail. Short version is I got to behave like a miscreant student for half of them and the other was spent catching up with old and new and new old friends!

Who would have guessed!

The bus trip was hellish today... Over crowded, stuffy and driven by a lunatic. It took a dream like resemblance to a bad rollercoaster ride from a failed theme park...

Feeling like a first rate sardine I tried to home in on the thoughts being fuelled by my iPod's shuffle setting. The song Somerset West by CrashCarBurn immediately ran me back to times where I felt in the shoes of the guy walking down Long Street thinking about his youth and being in love. Starry Eyed Surprise took me all the way to school days and matric madness!

The uncomfortable shuffle of commuters fighting the intoxicated bus kept throwing me off - regaining balance punctuated by apologetic smiles is not the best way to let the mind wonder...

What I did realise thought I panted on the veranda after the race to stay dry is that life has a funny way for blowing your mind!

No matter how hard you try to control your life, no matter how planned out you had it or how clear your goals were, life will throw you a curve ball. I don't care who you are, five years ago you would would have never, could never have guessed where you where you right now.

(If you did, you either lead a excruciatingly boring life or possess a discipline that would make Superman proud!)

I had a moment a few days ago; lying in my little boat, alone, happy, lines over the side, in the middle of the ocean. I felt a world away from the hussle and bussle of everyday routine, so far from the worries of everyday life. I had this moment when I realised that I am living the dream.

Five years ago for me: I had just got engaged...
I could be married right now. I wouldn't have guessed!

And five from now?

Memories

Strange things memories. How they flit and float at the edge of your conscienceness, not quite revealing themselves until the most unexpected moments.

At other times you can feel them them flooding back as they find and recognise a sound, song, place or any other catalyst that catch their fancy.

Good memories seem to have a far better shelf life than the bad ones. It seems far easier to pick out the good times than the bad times. Even some of those bad times seem to have gained a pleasant afterglow.

But those bad ones that are still clear and pungent, well I guess they hang around because they know that we can learn a few lessons from them. That is, after all, one of the most important lessons in life: learn from your experiences.

 Above: The day of the wind storm that almost blew us off the mountain. Sleeping bags, jackets and tents were lost. (Trek 2009)

Right: Long Cycles - when the chips were down there was always someone who was willing to give the extra hand (or tow). (Trek 2009)


Below: Pickers drenched in the flood that carried us a bazillion kms down the Breede - how we didn't miss our landing spot is beyond me. (Trek 2007)

A great example of how memories play these games with us is Trek. Now, for those who don't know, Trek is an odyssey undertaken each year by the Grade 9 year group from Somerset College. In groups of about 15, they hike, cycle and paddle for 27 days, over 380kms through the SW Cape.

As one can imagine, the stresses, difficulties and straight awful times are numerous and, at the time, seem back-breaking and insurmountable. This year, for example, out of the last seven days, we have spend five days straight hiking in the rain. Last year we had flooding in the beginning and blistering 27km hikes in the sweltering heat at the end. The moments of being wet, frozen, dehydrated, sunburnt or blistered seem so numerous when on the trail. I won't even start on the food...

Yet, somehow, as time passes so these uncomfortable memories either fade, get turned turned into tales of bravery and success or simply get pushed aside by better memories. It becomes a sunset instead of rain cloud, a laugh instead of a moment of weakness, taking shortcuts rather than getting lost. Its the swimming down rapids, night-time banter, chirps, claims of greatness - all the good things - that stay with us the longest.

Yes, more often than not the lessons from these tough days linger, quite often for the rest of out lives. But normally its the lesson that remains, not the event itself.

And so it works with lessons in life I suppose. It is those life changing moments that without you even realising it keep you smiling, laughing and learning.

                                                                               Originally written at Barrows Farm, Day 8 Trek 2009


Left: Good times - its these that aren't fogotten. (Trek 08)

Farquhar

Right, its done. I’m going Farquahar in December. This sliver of coral and sand, dotted in the great expanse of the Indian Ocean is one of the most sought after fishing destinations in the world. 

It lies about 1200 km off the East Coast of Africa, about 700km South of where I am sitting and writing this. It's 4000km NE of Cape Town... It has a tiny settlement - no more than a hundred people who are involved in a fishing operation.

On the jealous factor its waaaaaay up there. If you’re a fly fisherman and someone says they’re going to Farquahar, its instant upwelling of green that makes you detest the the person. You find excuses why they are below average fisherman and mumble incoherent comments when they address you directly.

At last, I become one the privledged few to walk the desolate corners of this unspoilt atoll...

I can't wait...

Mr Delivery, Island Style

Ah... The buses of the third world....


Public transport in Africa, while generally dodgy to the untrained eye, has never failed to provide a wonderful amount of entertainment and insight into local life.


Thanks to the alternator on my older than old Toyota pickup giving grief, I was back on the buses. My destination was Anse Bois de Rois where I would be joining a few friends for a swim and dinner.


So I bundled up my swim stuff and headed to the bus stop. On Praslin there are only two routes. The route over the Vallei der Mai is the more regular route and and buses run every 15minutes to half hour. The Consolation route - the one I was catching - runs far less regularly! 


So I arrived a little early at the stop and was very surprised when the bus rolled in only 10 min late. I've had buses just not arrive before so this was exciting indeed.


The trip was going pretty normally - lots of crashing into gears, whining of the diff and acceleration on dodgy corners punctuated by heavy braking at every stop...


Then all of a sudden, just past the village of Grand Anse, the bus driver stopped and jumped off the bus and walked down the beach - you could see he was looking for someone. The young French couple across the aisle from looked rather perturbed. No one really cared. Three or four minutes later our intrepid driver arrived back with a bunch of poissons (fish) in one hand and a scruffy looking security guard in the other... 

Turns out the security was a cousin of his who struggles to hold down a job and was meant to be on this bus. And the fish he picked up from a fisherman while fetching his cousin. Much apologising was done by the cousin - not the driver - and we were on our way again. 


It was now crashing into gears, whining of the diff, acceleration on dodgy corners punctuated by heavy braking at every stop and the driver absolutely crapping all over his 'good-for-nothing' cousin. 

But it wasn't over... About five minutes from my stop our driver - now driving twice the normal break speed in an attempt to my up time last by fetching the delinquent cousin - slammed on brakes for a guy with no shirt... 


Now out here shirts are a must for shops, buses and church! So I was expecting some comment from the driver. But no. The shirtless guy, who I now saw had no front teeth either, ran around to the drivers door and handed the driver 120 rupees who in turn gave shirtless toothless guy six beers.


Mr Delivery Island Style. 



I turned to the Frenchies asked whether it was their first trip to the island... They nodded with wide eyes... 

Right...

Its all a state of mind!

I keep saying it... Its become my self indulgent affirmation when things get a bit a tough!

You know; being far from home, friends and familiar places can get one down. Then dealing with inconsequential and frankly idiotic people at work compound it... You know; when you're ready to say screw it and head home or somewhere else, that's when I HAVE to say to myself: "It's a state of mind."

I sometimes throw 'heart' in instead of mind. It is so very true that the heart drives the emotions, and these drive us. So it fits!

Anyway... Writing this blog has been, at best, an erratic errand and I have decided, like all things in my life, it will just take a little reminding and pushing and I'l be a little better!

Although at the moment it feels like I'm talking to myself!

Here some photos to keep me quiet!

Just remember, its all a state of mind...

At least I'm Dreaming...

So it was a great weekend... Mahe, although not by a long shot my favourite island, does allow one to have a party with people of a similar age! And I needed it...

A quiet ferry trip on the Cat Cocos only meant that beers slipped down in anticipation for a fun night. And so it was. After a long drive a quick stop for the dodgiest burger on the island, we heading back to the Boardwalk. A very larny bar, restaurant found on the Eden waterfront, it provides a great way to get an evening started and in cases, ended.

A few beers and a freezing Mango slush puppy (which had far more than just mango) next door at Bravos set the mood and Boardwalk was messy.

Even messier was the early morning mission from Ali's place to meet Fab at the yatch club. We were off to check his FADs (Fish Aggregating Devices) that he has anchored off Ste Anne Island. The sea was on its head and while Fab and Ali dived I kept the helm. The pitching boat was not really the best place for three hungover lads!

But we persisted and after an interesting couple hours of dodging rouge white caps we headed off to do some fishing. The wind was blowing way to hard so the sexy #12s were left in their cozy tubes and the dropshot and popping roads were hauled out.

I am still sore - I haven't popped a big popper properly before and let me tell you it works strange muscles... Its like a plyometric session - it hurts in strange places the next day...

I wish I could say we killed it... But also no... I worked way too hard for a few kgs of GT, Fab got bitten off and Ali got his 'poor man's marlin." That was it!

Bleh.

A quick surf in fun onshore waves led to a barrel or two and some loose fins just before sunset...

Later a combination of Brandy and Takamaka took our night to new levels...

And this morning to lower levels. We dragged our aching, battered bodies down to Grand Anse and were very pleased to find a fun 2ft righthander reeling away in glassy perfection.

I wish we got more waves here... But with the Modern Collective soundtrack still running tunes around my head, I went and tried doing my best Jordy impersonation... At least I can dream...

A New Girlfriend...

I have a terrible habit of comparing my new toys to the idea of a girlfriend. Seriously though - it works!


Take my new girlfriend for example...


Miss Scott. A superb example of sexiness! Coming in at a sexy 9ft, this carbon fibre bombshell possesses a fine blend of flexibly and forgiving aggression. While pleasing to eye, to hold her means understanding that there is a serious side under that simple, no frills beauty. She's a hard worker and not scared to throw down a #12 line with accuracy.


Best of all, she loves to catch fish...


I could go on like this about new surfboards, cameras, reels and wheels! 


I remember as a kid literally taking a new surfboard to bed for the night (at least until I was told by mom to stop being ridiculous, she'd be fine until morning)  - that's how stoked I, and many other groms, would get about a new board.  


So anyway, I've have just got a new girlfriend. She arrived in the post on Monday! So keen to give her a work out this weekend!

                                           Meet Miss Scott


This is how I treat my toys - imagine if actually got a girlfriend :)

So I'm sitting here trying to figure out how to align a printer cartridge of an HP printer... I'm thinking that I'm sure I'm not a ICT teacher and why is this job falling to me who already is teaching four subjects (including 1st lang English to 2nd lang students...)


Bleh bleh bleh


So who knows actually? No one - probably not even me! But if it allows me to live in this God's gift of  a paradise, then, well, bring on another damn printer!


It's these small things that makes teaching in a growing school intertaining, frustrating and never ever boring! Its a bit like life I suppose; if you want the fun, you got to take the some of the shit aswell.


And I'm having fun. I think the worst part of this week is that all I want to do is get out of on the water test my sexy new flyrod. Goodness, why did she have to arrive on Monday. Typical girl - show you a littl eskin and then make you wait. Sweating it out from the sidelines hoping that your chance arrives sooner than later!


Oh well! Island life is, as always, a bit of an enigma! The locals, who love to be super chilled and relaxed when it suits them (Whenever there is ANY sort of work to done) will be the first to jump a queue, pull out in front of you or ignore you when asked for something! As long as they are happy, its all smiles. Its really not much different to Africa at all! Maybe just a little a safer. Last week I may have told a petrol attendent, in Afrikaans, that he was a doos! Oops!


Puff, my magic Hilux, is not purring but huffing at the moment. As soon as I take the foot off the pedal and she's in neutral, she splutters to a dead halt! You can imagine the entertainment that this has provided on an island where the roads are dead flat or as steep as South Col! But I have learned to slip her out of gear and brake with my left foot while keeping her revs up!

                                                                   My Magic Dragon




Fun and games!


Anyway, must get back to fixing this printer!